The Ten Commandments & Google’s Falling Stock Price
Yesterday, Google’s stock price got hammered over the head with a meat cleaver. Then the markets closed. After-hours trading put Google through a meat slicer, rendering the stock price even thinner. Today is chow time and investors will consume Google for lunch. Indigestion and acid reflux will then follow.
Google is hurting. They blame unexpected taxes and unfavorable currency prices. This is pure bunk. Sales from outside the USA accounted for 39% of Google’s revenue. Foreign taxes & currencies were unexpected you say? Then I’ve got some over-priced GOOG shares to sell you….
Want to know the real reason Google is suffering? It is because they have violated the Ten Commandments of a publicly traded American Company. Before you call me the illegitimate child of Pat Robertson, please allow me to elaborate.
“I am the Lord your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt…” Google is a US company. Their success would never have been possible in any other Country. Fact. The very establishment that has given you the opportunity to thrive has asked you for help. To protect children from accessing Porn. And you tell them to get lost. Shame on you. Adults should NOT want children viewing online porn. We should be hoarding all of it for ourselves.
“You shall have no other gods besides Me…” China is a emerging as a global super power in more ways than just population. However, let’s not forget that their citizens are not privy to the freedoms that we Americans take for granted. When Chinese people do a Google Image search on “Tiananmen” and come up dry thanks to the manipulation of Google’s search engine, Google is indirectly aiding and abetting the stymieing of China’s Democracy. But Google only cares about money. So, in short, Google conceded to the Red’s to remain in the Black and now investors faces are turning green. Greed is never a healthy trait.
“You shalt not swear falsely by the name of the Lord…”Three words: Click Fraud. But you are asking aloud “click fraud” is two words, not three?. Well, this just proves nobody likes being deceived. This includes Google’s customers and investors. False traffic is not a mere fling. Click fraud exists. Do not skirt the issue. Do not deny the reality. Address the matter and pursue a solution.
“Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy”. The holy grail of Google is the innovation it has brought to search. All else is mundane including VoIP and everything in between. Lose the search-touch and you will be a footnote in internet history.
“Honor your father and your mother…” Once again, do not take for granted the opportunity the USA has given you. When you are summoned by it’s regulators, do not disregard their invitation. That is very disrespectful.
“You shall not murder”. Google needs to keep an eye on its competition. Yahoo and MSN are dying for market share. Brace yourselves. With paid search being your only viable revenue source, this can soon be a matter of life and death.
“You shall not have sexual relations with another man’s wife.” Google has raised billions of dollars of funding from investors aplenty. Please do not screw around with the coinage in your coffers.
“You shall not kidnap”. Rumors abound that Google is considering the buyout of Napster. LOL. Dudes, I said this before and I’ll say it again: your current business model is making billions of dollars thanks to paid search results. Stick to it and ye shall bear fruit loops.
“You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor”. Google video is a terrible feature. SO much SO, that it qualified for a Gold in the Appalling Applications Category in the online Special Olympics. You admitted so yourself. Then please stop swearing by this bluff-ware.
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s house…” Google Earth gives me a satellite view of houses across the globe. I have a blast using this application. But it will not make Google money. This feature is useful for a minority of the population; namely geeks, terrorists and geeks who are terrorists.
At least the Google Trinity has resolved to suffer their penitence in public; Eric the CEO will be placing a new bumper sticker on his car that states” Google’s inflated stock price was Bull-Schmidt“. Sergey will refrain from quaffing the Russian imported Smirnoff and will settle for Absolut. And until the earnings of next quarter are announced, Larry Page will be purchasing his sneakers at Payless. Page will also reconsider the beta launch of the Google sneaker, which is equipped with a Google toolbar.
