Comments on: Why I Deny Friend Requests – Keeping Social Media Valuable

By: Flasher78

Flasher78 — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 10:01:00 +0000

I just had my boss request me on Facebook.. Admittedly I do have a few randoms on Facebook, celebrities and what-not so it’s not like I can say that I only add people I know, but for the most party I usually only try and add people I know. Facebook has been great for connecting with lost friends, and friends from highschool. Obviously I know my boss as I work with him 2 days a week, but I think it’s a little bit weird that he would want to be my friend on Facebook, when I have no intention of communicating with him outside of work.
I also don’t like the idea of him knowing what I do outside of work as I like to keep my private life and work life private and frankly, I don’t think it’s any of his business…
Does anyone else think this is weird?

By: Winson

Winson — Fri, 07 May 2010 15:55:53 +0000

you make prefect sense here, but i have to agree it with Mary A. here. I find it puzzling that people say things like "Just because we have 40+ friends in common does not mean I know you" or "I only add people I know" when they have like 1,500+ friends. Unless they take down phone numbers of everyone they see on the streets, there is no way one person can know that many people at once. This makes me wonder why deny a friend request from one person, but accept everyone else or why single one stranger out when you have hundreds of others on your friends? this could be some form of discrimination.

By: Mary A.

Mary A. — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 14:50:08 +0000

I understand to a degree. But how about when someone is completely in the same "circles" you are, accepts plenty of others whom are in those circles, yet sends you a "thanks but no thanks…but feel free to be my fan"….HA! Um, that is just rude.

By: Tuesday

Tuesday — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:13:54 +0000

Hi Peter! I agree with your point completely. I deleted an old account at another social network and started a new account instead to build up a more meaningful network. I think you were very kind to explain your reasons to your "unwanted" friend request.

By: Peter Figueredo

Peter Figueredo — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 10:13:27 +0000

Twitter is definitely a different animal altogether. Every seems much more open with how they use twitter…especially celebrities. I just got a tweet from lance armstrong that his kids are getting ready for a race and he actually linked to a photo of his kids…now that is very personal.

I also just saw a stat that 56% of people using twitter use it for some business purpose.

feel free to check out how I use twitter at

@figueredo

@netexponent

@affbenchmarks

By: gogofit

gogofit — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 20:03:16 +0000

Facebook and LinkedIn have to be real. Twitter, on the other hand, was meant for following/being followed by virtual people. And people on Twitter are happy to be followed (or, should I say, flattered?)

By: ArcherTC

ArcherTC — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 09:52:16 +0000

While I think this is a fine goal for Facebook, I believe that LinkedIn serves a specific set of business goals and has to be approached with that in mind. There, the most casual relationship to a vendor actually may have some weight and could be, dare I say, exploited to later mutual career, partnering or project pursuits. For those in the staffing industry, businesses looking for new customers, and professionals seeking entry into specific positions, who you know (or even claim to know) is still the most effective way to do business.

On Facebook, I have been asked to connect with high school friends with whom I have had no contact for more than 20 years. I could make a fuss of how the relationship doesn't warrant an online link, but for those people who are pleasantly reminiscing about the past, I am all to happy to share in this way as it takes absolutely no effort on my part to do more than update my status (which I would do in any case).

By: Peter Figueredo

Peter Figueredo — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 15:16:46 +0000

Derrick,

I do sometimes feel like I am missing out on opportunities to connect so your perspective is very valid. However, your specific example speaks to letting someone in your network who you know fairly well (stylist). I would certainly approve a request from my stylist as I see her regularly and know her well. I am sure your stylist was willing to help you out because she knows you fairly well. This is usually not true of a stranger off the street or loose connection. For example, if the receptionist asked me to connect I would'nt since I never chat with her and don't really know her well. There probably is some networking benefit I am missing but I think it is fairly small compared to keeping my network manageable. Again, just my opinion.

All,

I wrote this post to learn about other perspectives and through your comments I have done just that. Thanks everyone…feel free to continue posting and keep this discussion alive.

By: Derrick Daye

Derrick Daye — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 14:54:20 +0000

Peter,

I understand your reasoning for keeping your network of relationships 'virtual-free' – if you only use them for personal reasons.

However, through a business lens I think you are missing opportunities by filtering out those who are reaching out to you. We are all connected and anyone can lead you to or help you make a meaningful connection. A real-world example helped me see this. My hair stylist was simply my hair stylist. One day she asked how my day was. Not sure why, but I got specific. I told her I was trying to reach the management tier of a payroll processing company named ADP. At the time I was working for an ad agency and was involved in business development. To my disbelief she told me the President was her brother. He was and I met with him within two weeks. The cliche' takeaway: don't judge a book by its cover and if someone is trying to connect with you be open – there may be more there than you think.

Having said that – feel free to connect with me on facebook or Linkedin.

Derrick

By: Peter Figueredo

Peter Figueredo — Sun, 22 Feb 2009 13:23:23 +0000

Great idea Brian, I should definitely refer folks to our NETexponent page here http://bit.ly/18if3y but its a fan page not a group so that is probably asking a lot from a connection that I deny...so on second thought I wont. We had a group but when Facebook released the fan page function we converted the group to a fan page and disbanded the group. Another good topic for discussion...facebook groups vs fan pages...I see many companies using groups when they should be using fan pages.