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Screech Sex Tape Ready To Hit An Online Store Near You

As I was surfing the channels last night in between reruns of M.A.S.H on the Hallmark Channel, I was stopped dead in my tracks by the headline on CNN screaming… “Screech Sex Tape”.

Um, ok. you mean like Screech from Saved By The Bell, Screech?

Tommy Lee, Kid Rock, Colin Farrell … and Screech? If an alleged new sex tape is any indication, Dustin Diamond (aka Screech Powers from the classic sitcom “Saved By The Bell”) isn’t just a threesome-loving stud — he gets down and dirty (and we mean dirty) with his hoochies.

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So I watched. When I started watching Screech was on satellite from Cleveland yelling at the current owner of the tape, Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood’s biggest celebrity-skin deals. Once Screech stopped threatening Schmidt, they cut back to Schmidt pretending to be scared and acting all sleazy and pompous. (Hey, the guy sells sex tapes, it’s appropriate for him to be sleazy and pompous.)

Schmidt then guaranteed that the tape would be for sale online within two weeks, and that the demand already was greater then he could possibly imagine.

Alright, so why talk about this on ReveNews? How does this pertain to online revenue? I promise it does, sorta. Ok, maybe it really doesnt, and maybe I just couldn’t resist. You decide.

Here are a few questions that popped into my head watching this interaction, maybe you have answers?

1. Legally, Schmidt kept saying he aquired the tape from someone who he couldn’t name, and that he had every right to sell it. Help me understand this. If the tape was stolen (assuming Screech didn’t leak the tape to finally get over his stereotype character), then how is it possible to sell it to someone and then allow that person to sell it online?

Isn’t that like saying you could steal my stereo and then “distribute” it to your buddy and your buddy has every right to sell it on eBay because he “bought” it from you? I don’t get it.

2. Who in the world wants to watch a sex tape with Screech?

3. If this is in fact a ploy by Screech to get his name out there and to blow up his stereotype, then who’s next? Boner from Growing Pains? Charles in Charge? Punky Brewster?

Actually, I have heard rumors of a Shumly tape about to appear.

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